Don't you just wish you could wake up in the morning, dictate how your day will flow, how people will treat you, what the weather will do, and what you will dream when you lay your head in the evening? How simple things would be then. I've come to learn, very quickly (over the last few months especially), there's very few things that I decide from start to finish in life. Yes, I make choices. But, if you think about it, those choices are merely based on whatever predictaments have been thrown at me.... not what I had intended.
I so badly want to live life on MY terms. Decide my own fate from start to finish without anything butting into that. You know... wake up and decide, today will be sunny, with a high of 82, John will fall in love with me and my teacher will only lecture about chocolate and fairies. . . or whatever. You understand.
Life is about compromising and selflessness. What a concept.
I don't really know why this is laying so heavy on my mind except, in retrospect, looking back, 2008 was a bitch. I mean, a devil horned back stabbing bitch. But, I made it thru. I just think about when the year started and all the things that I intended and expected to happen. The year definately took it's own course... to say the least.
But, I walk away with a lot of lessons learned. One of the most important ones seems to be... don't expect too much and don't be dissappointed when something or someone doesn't act the way they *should*. Roll with the punches, except the flow.. whether it be a calm strolling river or a ravage psunami. Be prepared, but don't overplan... or over speculate.
A wonderful woman once said, "In the end, everything will be ok. If it's not, then it's not the end."